Two as One
by XPinkSpiderX
Summary: “Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.” Connor/Murphy TWINCEST


**Spider-chan: **I. Love. This. Movie. So. Much. It really ought to be illegal to be this obsessed with something…

There's the origin of this story for ya. That and me being the crazy girl I am, watched this and thought: ooh! Twincest? :'3

**Disclaimer**: I sadly do not own the Boondock Saints. I just own an overwatched and very abused DVD of it. :D

**WARNING**: Incestual thoughts and deeds. Don't like, turn back NOW!

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Murphy MacManus found himself wide awake…yet again. He stared deadpan at the cracked and poorly-painted ceiling above him. This nightly insomnia was beginning to take his toll on him; he was losing his appetite, he ran out of energy much quicker than usual, and dark circles formed underneath the brims of his eyes. All of this was noted immediately by his twin brother Connor, whom seemed deeply concerned and always questioned the matter, to which Murphy would reply with an "it's nothing" or the ever so infamous "don't worry about it". Murphy knew damn well that that wasn't enough to make Connor drop the issue entirely, he was far too stubborn. However, it did always give Murphy room to change the subject. And that was all that he needed…

Deny everything and simply don't tell him, that was Murph's ingenious plan. Brilliant, no? True, the stress may have been affecting his body and altogether his sanity, but believe it or not, it was much simpler than trying to explain to your twin brother that you're in love with him.

…Damn. It was even hard for him to admit to himself sometimes. Yes, it was true. Virtuous and religious as he was, he couldn't help but have fallen in love with his brother, his other half. But did that mean he was betraying his morals that he'd grown to live by and respect so deeply? In his defense, it didn't feel like he 'meant' to be in love with Connor, it just sort of…happened, as cliché and fucking ridiculous as it sounded. He didn't _mean_ to fall in love…perhaps that's why they referred to it as "falling".

Every fucking night this was how it was, having these thoughts plague and encircle his mind for hours on end until the sun's light would slant in through the narrow slits of the blinds in their room, preventing him from sleeping at all.

Murphy grunted and rolled on his side, forcibly locking his eyes upon the image of his brother, engaged in a deep slumber.

For the first time all night, Murphy smiled. He liked watching his other half sleep. He looked so peaceful and content, so unconcerned.

He wished he could say the same for himself; he was far too stressed to allow his mind to ease up and rest.

_Guess that's too much to ask fer. Ah well…_

Following his nightly pattern, he watched his brother sleep and mentally guessed at what he was dreaming of.

_Guessin' by the smile on his face, must be dreamin' 'bout beer…_

He chuckled softly, careful not to wake Connor. He merely stared at him, scanning him over a few times as if he'd never seen the man before in his life. But how could he help himself? Connor made him feel like a damned school girl sometimes. The way he noticed Connor's fantastic features- that dirty blonde hair, his mysterious eyes, his sculpted body…God above, he was truly pathetic for being this way. The epitome of pathetic.

Murph sat up straight in his bed and rubbed his temples gingerly. He groaned inaudibly and cupped his face in his cold hands.

_If Connor knew how I actually felt, God…_

"I bet he'd hate me." He whispered aloud to himself. Or so he thought.

…"Yeh'd lose that bet." A voice echoed back.

Murphy's eyes snapped open and traveled immediately over to Connor, who was smirking slightly and cracked one eye open.

"C-Connor…" Murphy stuttered in shock, "…I didn't mean to wake yeh."

Connor shook his head in response and sat upwards so that he was now face-to-face with his brother.

"Murph…" He beckoned to the other man whose eyes were focused on the floor and didn't dare cross paths with Connor's.

Never in his life had Murphy been afraid to tell Connor if something was wrong with him, now he couldn't even bear to look at him. His own brother. It was fucking frustrating seeing his brother falling apart at the seams while he stood by and watched because he had no idea what was wrong. Well, no more. Connor wasn't going to stand for it anymore. Even if he had to force him down or tie him to his damn bed, he'd get to the bottom of this.

"Murph." Connor said more firmly. Still no response.

Connor lifted up his brother's chin with a slight force so that he had no choice but to look dead-on into his eyes.

Murphy looked terrified beyond words, and that worried Connor even more.

"Murph, it's me, Connor. Yeh can tell me anythin', yeh know that." Connor whispered huskily to his twin.

Murphy nodded feebly in reply.

"Then why? Why are yeh so afraid of me? What's wrong with yeh, Murph? And don't yeh fuckin' tell me it's nothin'. Yer losin' weight, yeh get drained of energy ten times quicker, and yer scared of yer own brother! Of me. Murph, we're a team, we're brothers. Please, I want to help yeh. I want to look out for yeh, that's my job, damnit!" Connor lectured, punctuating his frustration with a shake to Murphy's nonresponsive body and holding him by his shoulders.

Murphy wanted to melt in his brother's grasp right then and there. He felt like a huge asshole for hurting his own brother so badly, but Connor just didn't understand. He had no idea what it felt like to have to be around your brother every fucking day, hopelessly in love with him, and do nothing about it. He had no clue as to how disgusting and contradictory it felt to uphold religious morals so highly and to attempt to purge the world of its impurities while he himself was a case example of one.

Connor grew less patient as the time passed, wondering if Murph was going to confess to him or just let it go. It was then that he noticed Murphy's body quivering in his grasp. His irritation immediately was overshadowed by apprehension.

"Murph…?" He asked gently, attempting to read Murphy's face which was hung low and in a shameful manner at the moment.

Murphy MacManus had had it; it was a sin, it would most likely alienate his brother from him, but he had to give it a try. If he were ever bold, now was the time. He lifted his head and faced his worried brother only to capture his lips and intertwine them with his in one swift movement.

Connor, taken back, took about half a second to process what was going on before he began kissing back forcibly. Murphy grunted inside of Connor's mouth and pushed his brother backwards onto the bed, making damn sure that he didn't disconnect them from one another.

Connor reclined backwards on the mattress and felt Murphy on top of him. It was wrong, horribly, terribly wrong. He was making out with his twin…and enjoying it! But if it was truly so 'wrong', why the hell did it feel so amazing?

Murphy abruptly broke away from his brother, panting. Connor sat up slightly and took in some deep breaths as well.

"Connor, I'm…I'm so sorry." Murphy huffed, looking over at his skeptical other half.

"…Is that what's been botherin' yeh?" Connor ventured a guess.

Murphy nodded. "Yeah..."

"That's why you were fuckin' scared of me?"

"Not necessarily; just afraid to tell you." Murphy was awaiting some huge speech about the fact that they were brothers and this was nothing but a vile sin. He deserved it.

"Why?" Connor asked, earning him a puzzled look from Murphy.

"Do I have to spell it out for ya?! We're brothers! It's a sin! I can't love yeh!!" Murphy's voice cracked and he hung his head yet again.

Connor lifted his brother's head, much gentler this time.

"Murph, yeh ain't the only one…" He laid back down and brought his twin down with him. There they were lying; Connor on his back, Murphy on top of him.

Murphy blushed as his head rested against his brother's chest.

"What do yeh hear?" Connor asked him, causing confusion to cross Murphy's features.

"Just listen." Connor instructed.

Murphy did as he was told and, his ear pressed against his brother's chest, realized he could both feel and hear the vibrations of Connor's heartbeat.

"It's you." Murphy answered, "I can hear your heart beating."

Connor nodded. "Do yeh know what it's saying?"

"Okay, now yer delusional." Murphy retorted.

"No, really. It's says…I love yeh too, Murph. And don't give a bloody fuck what anyone says nor if it's wrong. To me, it isn't. That's All I fuckin' care about. We need each other, Murph. We've always depended on one another and looked out for each other. We may be brothers, twins even, but that just further proves how we're meant to be one, I think." Connor stroked his brother's dark locks of hair.

"Meant to be one…" Murphy reiterated, "I like the sound of that."

"Aye." Connor agreed. "yer mine, and I'm yers."

Murphy smiled genuinely as he felt his eyelids begin to feel heavy; he was actually starting to feel tired…

Connor observed this and pulled the covers of his bed overtop of the two of them.

"Promise to love me in the mornin'?" Connor asked playfully.

"Yer a fuckin' pussy, you know that?" Murph replied through closed eyes.

"Love you too."

And for the first time in weeks, Murphy fell asleep to the rhythmic sounds of a beating heart that he knew belonged to him.

"Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one." – Friedrich Halm.

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**Spider-chan:** I'm actually kind of proud of this. Hope you enjoy!


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